I love it when a plan comes together!

I pity the fool who doesn't like this trailer!

TAKEN (2008) - Pierre Morel

Luc Besson used to direct movies. He made one of the greatest western action films ever in Leon. Commonly known as The Professional in the US. But in the last while, Besson has spent most of his time writing and producing. Oh, and making Arthur and the Invisibles... Some of his recent projects haven’t exactly set the world on fire, but maybe Taken, directed by Pierre Morel will buck the trend.

Bryan is an ex-agent of some sort. We’re not given any indication as to what agency he worked for, but you can bet it involved shady operations. Whatever it was that Bryan did, it cost him his wife and daughter. Bryan is retired and now lives close to his daughter in order to build a relationship with her. He objects when she comes to him looking for permission to travel to Paris. He eventually changes his mind, but tells his daughter to keep in contact. The girl arrives in Paris. While on the telephone to her father, Kim and her friend are kidnapped by unknown assailants. Bryan leaps into action, calling on old friends and skills and leaving bloody mayhem in his wake as he searches for his daughter.



If Liam Neeson brings one thing to a film, it’s gravitas. But all the gravitas in the world can’t stop Taken from being an grotesque and frankly, hideously racist action film. Morel did a decent job with District 13, an over the top actioner that showcased Parkour, the sport of free-running. However, he’s tried to put brains to the action here, and instead, ended up with a dreadful script, frenetic and confusing camera work and a waste of Liam Neeson. The film tries to be dark as it uses human trafficking as it’s main plot device. It’s sometimes shocking in moments. But the gravity of the situation is somewhat lost by the ridiculous amount of bodies Liam Neeson leaves behind him on his quest.

It seems there are no consequences to peoples’ actions in Taken. No matter where Neeson goes, no matter who he batters, stabs or shoots, he’s able to walk away with neither a scratch nor a reprimand. And that’s even weirder considering one of the top policemen in Paris knows Neeson’s the one killing his way around France. The other thing that is baffling about the film is the level of racism. Not a single European or Middle Eastern person is portrayed as anything other than stupid, evil or corrupt. It seems everyone exists solely to get in Neeson’s way. At one point there is an American bad guy. But he’s dispatched with little more than a minute of screen time.



Neeson deserves, and can do better. Hell, he even made the woeful Phantom Menace entertaining. There’s no real excuse here. Unless Neeson thinks he’s getting on a bit and has to get the last few punches he can manage out of his system. But he’s still a massive, imposing presence on screen. It’s just a shame his burly nature wasn’t given more to do here. The rest of the cast are inconsequential. Seriously. Maggie Grace is purely a plot point as Neeson’s daughter. Famke Janssen just plays a bitch. Everything else is just set up for Neeson to act like Jack Bauer. If it’s agency-trained violence and torture you’re after, you’re better off watching a season of 24. Taken? Taken the piss more like.


4/10

THE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA: PRINCE CASPIAN (2008) - Andrew Adamson

The Chronicles Of Narnia: Prince Caspian marks the second film in the series that could possibly (although not probably) run to seven. Andrew Adamson returns to the director’s chair for the sequel which, to put it kindly, isn’t the most engaging of films. I mean, the scenery is beautiful. It’s full of action. But for some reason, the film lacks almost anything worth caring about.

In this film, we open with Prince Caspian, the heir to the throne of Narnia being smuggled out of his kingdom. His evil uncle, Miraz, wants the Prince dead so he can place himself in the throne. Caspian escapes an assassination attempt and calls for the old kings and queens of Narnia for help. The Pevensie children, Peter, Edmund, Susan and Lucy are whisked back to Narnia, where they find the landscape changed to the point where it’s unrecognisable. And worst of all, the Narnians are in hiding, thought to be extinct. And Aslan is nowhere to be found. Prince Caspian raises an army of Narnians to take back his throne and bring peace to Narnia but is disappointed to find that the kings and queens he summoned are mere children. And so two battles begin. One, a battle of wills between Caspian and Peter Pevensie as to who should lead the army, and the battle between the Narnians and the Telmarines, the humans who forced the Narnians into hiding.



One word can sum up The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian. Boring. From the beginning to the very end, you’ll be hard pressed to raise more than one eyebrow in anything resembling excitement, surprise, tension or entertainment. Sure, the New Zealand and Czech Republic backdrop is gorgeous. But it’s gorgeous in any film. It takes more than pretty scenery to make a decent film. The film breaks down like this. Escape, return, argue, attack, argue, defend, attack, go home. That’s literally the film. The characters are in no way engaging and the battles are sleep inducing. Unfortunately, Andrew Adamson cannot direct a fight or battle scene. He ends up using that tired old cliché, slow motion and everything just becomes lacklustre. There’s a lot of proclaiming ‘FOR NARNIA!’ ‘FOR ASLAN!’ For Christ sake, gimme something interesting to watch.

I’ll admit, I haven’t read C.S. Lewis’ books. But from watching the film, it just seems that despite 1300 years passing from the time the children left Narnia to the time they returned, they’re not all that sad everything has changed. They lament for a quick moment that their friends are all dead, but then they skip off into the wood to meet delightful mouse creatures with miniature swords and badgers who can talk. It’s just all a little trite. The five principal actors, the Pevensies played by William Moseley, Anna Popplewell, Skandar Keynes and Georgie Henley and Prince Caspian, played by Ben Barnes either bicker amongst themselves or stand with jaws agape, staring at blank spaces to later be filled by special effects. Their performances, if you can call them that, are just ineffectual. In fact, Barnes, who plays the titular character, seems to be a second tier character. I just found myself wishing King Miraz, the villain, would slap the children and tell them to behave.



The only actor who actually was worth watching was Peter Dinklage as a miniature Hulk Hogan. Dinklage is a fine actor, and plays the gruff dwarf Trumpkin with gusto. At one point I found myself waking up as Tilda Swinton’s White Witch made an appearance, but that quickly faded as it became clear she was only popping in to make a cameo.

I don’t see The Chronicles of Narnia having much more in the way of legs if the upcoming Voyage of the Dawn Treader is as boring as Prince Caspian. Everything in this movie has been done before, and a million times better by Peter Jackson. Prince Caspian is Lord of the Rings-lite. Don’t waste your money.


4/10

KINSEY (2004) - Bill Condon

Bill Condon's biopic, Kinsey, is a study of Professor Alfred Kinsey, an Indiana University teacher who embarked on the largest study of human sexual behavior ever undertaken. Kinsey was an entomologist, known for his studies of the gall wasp. He marries one of his students, Clara McMillen, and after a disaterous wedding night, Kinsey finds his true calling in life. The study and documentation of human sexual behavior. It's a controversial subject to take on in 1950's America, due to it's explicit nature. However, Kinsey approaches the subject from a very matter of fact point of view.

Kinsey sets about interviewing as much of the population of the United States as he can. He puts his subjects at ease, which makes them very open. And his findings, while frank and honest, are quite difficult for some people to digest. Kinsey's study becomes an obsession for him, putting him at odds with not just the newspapers, but also those close to him. However, he soldiers on, determained to create as detailed a study as he can.



Director Condon takes a very linear approach with this biopic, a method that is quite refreshing considering how some directors try to jazz up the flat nature of the biopic with directorial and structural tricks which can actually detract from the subject matter. There's a lot to cover, as Condon pretty much examines the entirety of Kinsey's life, from boyhood to old age. His cast, led by Liam Neeson as Alfred Kinsey and Laura Linney as Clara McMillen are key to carrying the story, and all performances (including a brilliant cameo by John Lithgow) are spot on. Naturally, the subject matter is in itself quite fascinating, but handled incorrectly, Kinsey could have been quite a boring film. However, Alfred Kinsey is a flawed man, and Condon doesn't shy away from this. Kinsey's single mindedness and his scientific approach to nearly all aspects of life makes him a little aloof and cold, but he's an interesting, if somewhat unknown character, at least in my generation. A very interesting subject matter handled very well.


7/10